Tag Archives: pregnancy

The Meaning of Motherhood

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What does it mean to be a mom? When do you officially become a mom? Is it during the process of giving birth? Or does it happen before the birth during those nine pivotal months of growing a human being inside you? Or, do you become a mom even before the pregnancy at the moment of conception when sperm meets egg? Or does it happen days, weeks, months, even years after the birth when the child in question looks at you with her big, bright, wide eyes full of so much possibility and potential?

Before the birth of my daughter, I only knew about the concept of motherhood as a daughter. As a daughter, I had a mom who was always there for me from the moment of birth to getting accepted into the college of my choice. She was a stay-at-home mom so she was there for all the little moments. I remember going shopping with my mom, taking walks with her, and watching the soccer world cup games while eating spicy Korean ramen in the middle of the night.

Twenty-seven years, my mom gave birth to me. It was a hard labor and I was told that she nearly died. I often wonder what my childhood would have been like if she had not survived. I know that my life would have been drastically different. I would not have grown up speaking Korean and eating Korean food. I would probably have lived in a different state from the one that I grew up in. Without my mom during the most important years of my childhood, I would have a complete different set of morals and thoughts. I would have been a different person.

I’ve been thinking about my mom a lot, particularly since the birth of my daughter. Going through her birth makes me appreciate my mom even more so for the labor pains, for the growing pains (on both of our parts!), and simply being there for me. Before the birth of my daughter, I didn’t really understand what it was like to be a mom.

But now, I realize that it is in the little things. Yes, the actual process of birth plays a HUGE part in becoming a mom. But then, your life begins — your new life begins after the birth of your child. You have become a mom. You are now responsible for a human being that you helped create. That is both terrifying and awe-inspiring at the same time, causing me to do the very best I can with my child.

So, to answer the questions that I posed in the beginning of this post, I believe that being a mom is a lifelong process. You officially become one at the moment of conception and then again at the birth of the child. And then, you become a mom again each and every time you experience the little moments of your child’s life. That includes being there for your child’s first smile, first laugh, first diaper change, first cry, the first time they walk, the first time they start eating solids, the first time they go off to school, and so on. Because at each of those moments, your child will look at you and smile and you will know that it is all worth it. It is all about the little moments that happens each and everyday after you bring your child into the world.

 

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2015: Year of the Crazy

Life is crazy.

I bet you’ve heard that one before. One moment you think that you have life all planned and then the next something happens to change all that. Time and again, things have happened. And each time, I am reminded that what is important is how you face these obstacles.

So what if your Big Life Plan goes astray? As long as you learn something from it and move on with your Big Life Plan, then everything will work out for the best. I may not believe in God or  Allah or any higher being for that matter, but I do believe in fate. I believe that life happens for a reason. And every moment happens to test us, to teach us, to guide us to another moment in another place in time.

How else can I explain when I’m 26 and I’m just now completing my Bachelor’s degree? I went to college the traditional way when I was 18. I lived in the dorms (I hated it). I studied abroad (I loved it).

If things had worked out as planned, I would have graduated from college in 2011. It took me four years longer to get my Bachelor’s degree because I took a break. Which I needed. If you were to ask me if I regret it, I would have to say that I don’t. Because sometimes it is not about the end result but the journey that gets you there. I feel like earning my Bachelor’s degree at 26 is even more rewarding now than it would have been when I was 22. You know why? Because it was harder. Because I had to really work for it. Because a college education is not just a growing up ritual. Instead, it is something that is earned and it can never be taken away. It is the time to truly get to know yourself, to change and to let yourself be changed. It is the time to let education let you become the person that you were meant to be.

Now, that probably sounded corny and sappy. But it’s true.

Life is indeed crazy. Especially when you find out that you are pregnant. 2015 is a big year for me… the year of graduation and now pregnancy and starting a family with my long-term boyfriend and finding my dream job. Oh my, it really is the year of the crazy, isn’t it?