Tag Archives: dreams

I Am Average

NXWR1651E3 When I was five years old, I dreamed about marrying Prince Charming and becoming a princess. When I was seven, I dreamed about being in a beauty pageant. I continued to go through life thinking that I was special, that the entire world revolved around me.

And then, I turned fifteen and my dreams changed. They became more grounded in reality. Suddenly, I was faced with the prospect of college just a few years away. Suddenly, I realized that I had to be more grounded, more career-oriented, more realistic.

I dreamed about going to medical school and becoming a surgeon (driven no doubt by endless hours of watching surgical shows & Grey’s Anatomy). I then became a vegetarian and then dreamed about becoming a veterinarian so I could help animals. In the middle of all that, I also dreamed about becoming a famous, best-selling writer. This all happened in high school.

And then, after high school, after college, as someone in their mid-twenties, I’ve come to the realization that I’m not so special after all. As someone who went through life with an over inflated self-esteem, I always believed that I could accomplish anything, no matter how impossible it seemed. I believed that I could fly (I never wanted to because of my fear of heights).

Coming off of this mindset, I realize now that I’m not so special after all. I am average. I’m not the smartest, though I work hard, I’ve always worked hard, at my studies. I’m not an athlete (I’m really clumsy). I don’t really have a special talent, such as the ability to roll my tongue or a photographic memory.  This realization is slightly depressing because it means that I am just like everybody else in this world. I am no different from my neighbors and friends.

So, what does this mean? What can an average person do to become even just a little bit extraordinary? The only thing I can do is to keep trying new things, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I will find something that will make me just a little less “average.”

But, at the same time, maybe it is a blessing in disguise to be average?  Because, if I wasn’t, then I would probably let the extraordinary-ness get the best of me. So, what can I do? Just accept the fact that I am average and work hard, hoping that maybe, one day, I will make myself even greater.

I will rise above the average-ness.

 

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Dreams at 26

I’m 26 years old. I am a twenty-something. I can no longer say that I am a young adult or that I’m in my early twenties. I have my feet solidly in my twenties. I look back to those angsty teenage years and those rocky early twenties, and I am filled with awe and wonder. Where has all the time gone? Have I changed? Who have I become?

I’m at the point in my life when I can still remember those early years and still be able to look forward to what is coming next. I remember the day that I turned 10 and how super excited I was to finally be in the double digits. I remember turning 13, excited about changes and middle school.

And then I remember turning eighteen, excited about high school graduation and the college years. Eighteen signified adulthood, independence, voting rights, and college. Eighteen was the magic number, sandwiched between the awkward teen years and impending adulthood.

Turning twenty was another momentous event. It marks the end of adolescence and the official beginning of adulthood. I could finally say that I was in my twenties. I was no longer a child. I could finally start to make my mark on the world. Even at twenty, I was still filled with dreams. I wanted to join the Peace Corps and help people. I wanted to help people better themselves.

Even now, at 26, that desire hasn’t changed. I’d like to go forward with my degree and work for a non-profit organization. If I can make a positive impact on even one person’s life, then I would be immensely satisfied. I want work that is meaningful and life changing. I realize that I am just a small piece in the puzzle of the world. But even that small piece can do something big and wonderful. That small piece can change the world.

I’m older and I’d like to think that I am wiser now. But I am still filled with the same idealizations and dreams that I had when I was twenty. And I’m okay with that. I am a dreamer, but I am also a fixer.