Tag Archives: childhood dreams

I Am Average

NXWR1651E3 When I was five years old, I dreamed about marrying Prince Charming and becoming a princess. When I was seven, I dreamed about being in a beauty pageant. I continued to go through life thinking that I was special, that the entire world revolved around me.

And then, I turned fifteen and my dreams changed. They became more grounded in reality. Suddenly, I was faced with the prospect of college just a few years away. Suddenly, I realized that I had to be more grounded, more career-oriented, more realistic.

I dreamed about going to medical school and becoming a surgeon (driven no doubt by endless hours of watching surgical shows & Grey’s Anatomy). I then became a vegetarian and then dreamed about becoming a veterinarian so I could help animals. In the middle of all that, I also dreamed about becoming a famous, best-selling writer. This all happened in high school.

And then, after high school, after college, as someone in their mid-twenties, I’ve come to the realization that I’m not so special after all. As someone who went through life with an over inflated self-esteem, I always believed that I could accomplish anything, no matter how impossible it seemed. I believed that I could fly (I never wanted to because of my fear of heights).

Coming off of this mindset, I realize now that I’m not so special after all. I am average. I’m not the smartest, though I work hard, I’ve always worked hard, at my studies. I’m not an athlete (I’m really clumsy). I don’t really have a special talent, such as the ability to roll my tongue or a photographic memory.  This realization is slightly depressing because it means that I am just like everybody else in this world. I am no different from my neighbors and friends.

So, what does this mean? What can an average person do to become even just a little bit extraordinary? The only thing I can do is to keep trying new things, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I will find something that will make me just a little less “average.”

But, at the same time, maybe it is a blessing in disguise to be average?  Because, if I wasn’t, then I would probably let the extraordinary-ness get the best of me. So, what can I do? Just accept the fact that I am average and work hard, hoping that maybe, one day, I will make myself even greater.

I will rise above the average-ness.

 

One Day

Ever since I was a child, the only thing that ever came naturally to me was writing. I can remember sitting at my desk in my childhood bedroom, with a notebook and a pencil, and writing. I wrote about princesses and dreams coming true. I wrote about life, embellished with bits of magic, school, talking animals, whatever flew into my head. In short, it was fun.

I’ve always enjoyed writing. Even now, I still write. Probably not as frequently as I’d like to. But then again, who has time for that?  But I try to make time to write, just to get those creative juices flowing. I’m not published yet, but I hope to be one day. I’m hoping that this blog will help me channel my creativity and refine my writing skills. I’m hoping for a lot. But what can I say? I’m a dreamer.

Right now, publication is just a dream. But one day, I will make it happen. One day, I will publish one of my National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) novels. One day, one of the ideas I have strewing around in my head will go out into the world, in a bound book with my name on the cover.

All I need is an idea. An idea. How hard can that be?